Since I decided to move back to Penang from London, I have been struggling to keep up with my life. It's hard in the beginning because I have to give up everything I have in London and start up from scratch again in Penang. I told myself, it's ok, I have done this before. Didn't think much about it, just decide and take action. Now I am stuck, why? I couldn't fit myself in the society here, I have gotten so much used to the westerner's culture. I try so hard to compromise, I even force meself to go against my principles, it ain't working. I broke my commandments for that, what a sad scenario.
After two and a half years, I am lost totally. It's like you try to walk in a thick fog with zero visibility, hit the walls so many times. Get up and continue again, so forth. I'm tired now, because I'm getting no where. Thought of what GM used to told us at the preaching, considered so many things. In the end my determination ain't strong enough and then I gave up. I then told meself that since I can't see what is in front of me, no point continue thinking forward; and the bruises, injuries from the path I walked are histories, no point of mentioning it again; why don't I just seat down and wait for the fog to disappear and see what I can do at the moment and enjoy the happening around me? Yeah, what a good decision. Easier said than done mate.
I was watching the series of interview with GM from Taiwan Chapter in YouTube. On series 20-21, we found out about how GM live his life when he first migrate to Seattle from Taiwan. GM's whole family were eating expired food from Safeway or any other Supermarket; no heater during winter and visit Garage or Boot Sales in the weekend to buy used blankets, etc for their poor living which lasted for 3 years. GM hasn't had income for 3 years! They walked to Safeway to buy expired food, that's miles away! I can't bear the thought of GM's family going through this, my tears dropped so does the interviewer.
It reminds me about my life when I was at my low in London. I live the similar life like GM has gone through with my ex girlfriend, except GM's worst than mine. We used to go to Asda, Saintsbury, Tesco, Iceland, etc to hunt for the near expire food, because it's cheap. Been through that sort of life for 6 months before I reach the turning point.
Now that I know GM has been in much more worst situation than I am now, now that I have recall I have been in a lot more worst situation than I am facing now; I feel better and all my worries go away.
Thank you GM that I still have you to look up upon to! Om Mani Padmee Hom!
After two and a half years, I am lost totally. It's like you try to walk in a thick fog with zero visibility, hit the walls so many times. Get up and continue again, so forth. I'm tired now, because I'm getting no where. Thought of what GM used to told us at the preaching, considered so many things. In the end my determination ain't strong enough and then I gave up. I then told meself that since I can't see what is in front of me, no point continue thinking forward; and the bruises, injuries from the path I walked are histories, no point of mentioning it again; why don't I just seat down and wait for the fog to disappear and see what I can do at the moment and enjoy the happening around me? Yeah, what a good decision. Easier said than done mate.
I was watching the series of interview with GM from Taiwan Chapter in YouTube. On series 20-21, we found out about how GM live his life when he first migrate to Seattle from Taiwan. GM's whole family were eating expired food from Safeway or any other Supermarket; no heater during winter and visit Garage or Boot Sales in the weekend to buy used blankets, etc for their poor living which lasted for 3 years. GM hasn't had income for 3 years! They walked to Safeway to buy expired food, that's miles away! I can't bear the thought of GM's family going through this, my tears dropped so does the interviewer.
It reminds me about my life when I was at my low in London. I live the similar life like GM has gone through with my ex girlfriend, except GM's worst than mine. We used to go to Asda, Saintsbury, Tesco, Iceland, etc to hunt for the near expire food, because it's cheap. Been through that sort of life for 6 months before I reach the turning point.
Now that I know GM has been in much more worst situation than I am now, now that I have recall I have been in a lot more worst situation than I am facing now; I feel better and all my worries go away.
Thank you GM that I still have you to look up upon to! Om Mani Padmee Hom!
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